Hindsight blind

Anticipating, wanting, or call it “pining…”

Anyway you look at it, Meggie longed for a reunion.

She searched  – pecking at the keyboard – hopefully questioning others “left behind”

…but to no avail.

Her sister’s phone call one extra-ordinarily, ordinary night sent her into a relapse.

“An old friend of yours was here at the house last night.  Kevin…um…I’m not too sure what his last name was….”

Her adrenaline began rushing

                Her vision started to blur

“Kevin…something….”

                She gasps for air as she tries to complete her sister’s sentence

“Shuggs?” Meggie added.

“SHUGGS…that’s it!”

”Kevin Shuggs!   As if Meggie didn’t hear it the first time.

“Yea, he asked how you were doing.”

How was it possible that life could be so cruel?

Just days before that little hole in her heart was patched by a

Quiet, tall, dark and handsome dream….

He calmed her spirit and grounded her.

She has wished for this kind of love for so long…and how she was unsure.

Meggie gave up hope of every find that one –

                The one who slipped through the strings of her heart

To an eastern haven

To a place that so easily erased her memory from his soul.

And here he was…in the same town once again.

Days passed…and she didn’t hear any more about him.

Maybe it wasn’t her Shuggs.

Maybe he left just as quickly as he retuned

Maybe it was a different guy with the same name

Maybe…just maybe….she’d be ok.

She stepped out with some friends on Friday night

Across a dark, chatter filled room

Above the clank of barroom mugs and billards

They caught each other’s eye.

She silently screamed, “Is that really you?”

Her eyes straining to help her makes sense.

For a brief moment the adrenaline returned

Her heart skipped a beat and

Her soul jumped for joy in anticipation of finally re-connecting with Shuggs.

Then like a slow motion nightmare…they  approached

Meggie’s world turned a speckled grey and began closing in on her.

For a brief moment, they looked at one another

Then just as quickly he turned away

Out of force….out of self-preservation?

In a gesture of civility, he gave her a quick nod and said, “Hey, how’s it going?”

Calm and casual

A moment quick and fleeting

Just as calmly, he turned his eyes, not waiting for her answer

She watched Meggie and Kevin…for a sign…any sign

Anything that would signal the reality of a mutual past

A mutual past from so, so long ago

But…there was nothing.

And then that was it….

               They walked away.

The big bang that Meggie had waited years for… simply went

Pop and fizzle

Into oblivion

with nothing left to hope for

with nothing left to fear.

She was picked up later that night by her tall, dark handsome dream.

She hopped into his truck and slid right next to him

And nuzzled herself under his extended arm.

And when he asked her how her night was…she simply replied

“It was alright…but, it would’ve been better if you were there.”

He pecked her on the cheek

And his smile reassured her that he was all she needed.

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