Ohh…ouch…life.

I went for a drive one summer evening in New Mexico.  As I drove, I killed a million mice in the attic of my mind.  Yet, the same thoughts kept me captive.  I revisited memories of a few good friends, but no one in particular.  Just this mental collage of  “thems” and “theys.”

They push and pull through life.  They painfully grind through the silky fabric of their existence.  As I drove along, I felt an overwhelming urge to tell them…be…just be.

I understood this to mean:

There is no need to make life fit into your skewed little box, with all the rules that box you in and keep contentment out.  It’s OK to just let go of the control…and let it be.

For me, just the thought of such action created such a euphoric feeling…so free…so limitless…so happy.

What was interesting was in that moment of non-judgement of myself, I realized that that very lesson was actually…for me.

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Making good on the promise to live

I’ve been fortunate to have had some amazing friends in life.  I’ve cherished every friendship (good and bad).  I believe we meet each other at the point in our lives when we need one another.  Even if the friendship doesn’t last, we come out having learned something about ourselves that we wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the relationship. 

There are times when friendships leave you speechless.  When I just can’t find the words to encourage, console, chastize.  This poem came from one of those moments. 

p.s.  Thanks to Kara Helena for the most amazing photo.

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Red. Flesh. Soul. Pride.

She stands in her own existence

            Wavering on a ledge

            Peering into a painful past

                        And she hears a whisper

            So loud that she’s taken aback

                        But pain muffles the words.

Her gaze darts heavenward

            Beyond the impending agony

Shiny, stunning blade

            Sleek, intricate silver

Slices air toward the destination

            …or destiny.

            And in a flash the

Silver blade of integrity slices her soul

            And she bleeds

She bleeds

            Hot streams of pride

            Icy shards of selfishness

            Burning streams of jealously

            Razor shards of anger

And the air rushes in as the

            Toxic poisons pool at her feet.

She reaches for the wound

            Healed

            Healed

            Healed

            Healed

Her soul

            Quietly cries songs of joy.

And again she hears the whisper

            Louder…louder…louder

            Until the words are crisp and powerfully clear

“Breathe. Life. Into your Future.”

 

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