I went for a drive one summer evening in New Mexico.  As I drove, I killed a million mice in the attic of my mind.  Yet, the same thoughts kept me captive.  I revisited memories of a few good friends, but no one in particular.  Just this mental collage of  “thems” and “theys.”

They push and pull through life.  They painfully grind through the silky fabric of their existence.  As I drove along, I felt an overwhelming urge to tell them…be…just be.

I understood this to mean:

There is no need to make life fit into your skewed little box, with all the rules that box you in and keep contentment out.  It’s OK to just let go of the control…and let it be.

For me, just the thought of such action created such a euphoric feeling…so free…so limitless…so happy.

What was interesting was in that moment of non-judgement of myself, I realized that that very lesson was actually…for me.


Can you imagine…

Can you imagine a bizarre world where your every thought can be instantly turned into reality?  Where just the simple act of thinking can bring a new reality into existence?  Can you imagine the idea that reality might only exist in word?  What if there are unlimited possibilities just waiting to be created?

For example:

If I stub my toe, I curse the day as a “Monday.”  I then can’t find my keys.  I miss all the green lights to work.  I forget about that urgent meeting at work.  AND then, I spill my morning energy all over my lap.

OR…for example:

I wake up 2 minutes before my alarm bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  I head to the local drive-up and I am rewarded for being a loyal customer.  I somehow get across town in 10 minutes…in morning traffic!  My favorite song is played on the radio…followed by my second favorite and my third favorite.  My email has a congratulatory message waiting for me about the coveted workshop that I was selected for.

Oh wait…

I guess the thought isn’t so bizarre after all.  REALITY is relative – the only constant in it is the way it is spelled. We live in a unshaped space that begs us to mold it into something magnificent with our thoughts, emotions and energy.

So, I guess the question is, “What can you imagine?”

Of youth

I was like most youngster in high school.  I listened to all the latests music.  Watched the matching videos on MTV (back when they played videos).  I also was a pretty good dancer.  Most importantly, I was “cool.”  I came to college and carried on in the same “cool” fashion.  I remember once being asked by an admirer, “where’d you learn to dance like that?”  I just shrugged as I broke into a another fit of rythm.  I took it as a compliment.

But, something happened when I had kids…I stopped dancing.  My inner Material Girl, gave way to Barney, Kidz Bop and Blacklodge Kids’ Pow Wow Jams.  I had stopped feeding the “me” that knew what cool was.  There was point at which I remember thinking “who are you and what did you do to that dance diva named Lori?!”  Yeah, it was bad.

My kids were in middle school when a friend invited me to go dancing with her at a local latin club.  That night, I danced and danced….so good!  It felt wonderful to find “me” again.  I didn’t stop.   I was there twirling and swaying on the dance floor as often as I could…and I looked and felt amazing!

There were times after that re-awakening that I used to try to teach my girls to dance.  Or, I’d tell them about how I used to dance like a maniac in high school.  They’d just giggle.  They didn’t believe me.   I don’t blame them…they hadn’t ever seen me “do” such things.   And they could hardly even imagine it either.

I saw a post card once that had a quote by William Purkey, ““You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.”   There is only one part missing….make sure your kids see you doing it all….as proof!  haha

I wrote this poem back then about conflicting perceptions:  theirs and mine.  Today, they still giggle when I try to” bust a move”….if they only knew!


I guess I always thought I’d be cool
down with the latest dances
up with fashion
know the music scene
speak the speak
Apparently, I’ve been slipping a bit…
I step on toes
my wardrobe suffers from time warp
isn’t “Bow Wow” what a dog does?
…and COOL just isn’t cool for me to say anymore!

According to two young hip chicks on the verge of life…
I’m old…I’m outdated…I’m over!

But, little do they know…
when the night matures
I unbutton to please
and slip on my shiny, slick black heels
that move with ease
to the hot latin beat
that melts the years from
my mind…my body…my soul.


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